Books, Bracelets, Babies and Body Lotion...

'The Mrs. Club'. Is where I'm at right now, quite literally and figuratively. A good friend bought (had autographed and mailed) me a copy of this foray into the hitherto uncharted waters of Nigerian 'chick-lit'. My first reaction was 'Bravo!' and 'A for effort!' for this self published first book, until I saw a grammatical error in the very first paragraph. It put me off for like a week or so. I mean, hello, spell check much? When I did finally give it another try, I was hooked by the conversational, true to life tone of a worldly single Nigerian (or Naija as we like to say) girl, trying to make it in the U.S. A bit exaggerated and intense, but you try developing and sustaining three very different characters in 195 pages and then you can talk! Rough around the edges, yes. The drifting between tenses will make you dizzy for sure. But definitely, definitely, entertaining and you will be holding your sides laughing. Literally. I guess what I am trying to say is, I'm a fan. And I will be buying copies for other Nigerian women or at least letting them know we have embraced a new genre of literature and a new queen of Naija Chick Lit. So, Get it, then, Ekene!

I am chock full of reviews today - all unpaid, I promise, but definitely 'prada tested'. I am all about the unique gifts for my special 'peeps'. Check out these simply gorg 'mommy and me' bracelets I ordered from Lisa for my cousin and her new baby, Kimber. Adorable. And you can customize with just about anything. I did birthstones, baby alphabet blocks and booties. Love, love, love it!

Paspic.com - This one, any busy mom who has ever had to sit immobile under a white cheesecloth with her squirming baby on her lap (I kid you not), all for the sake of a passport photo, will agree is worth its weight in gold. Imagine taking passport photos at home, uploading them and having them sent to you for just $10??? Cannot beat it. They will proof and correct for you as well. I have posted MonkeyBoys, and I will post the finished product from Paspic when they mail them back. Oh, and the $10 (well $10.18 actually) is for THREE Passport photos, INCLUDES postage and you get it within TWO BUSINESS DAYS! I 'PUFFY HEART' THE PEOPLE WHO CAME UP WITH THIS INGENIOUS IDEA!

In my never ending quest to stay fab for less, I turned guinea pig last week. I rubbed the entire left half of my body in Nivea Natural Tone Lotion ($6.99, Target) and the entire right size of my body in Kiehls ($18, Target - 4 sizes smaller than Nivea). No difference. I daresay the left side of my body stayed smoother and more moisturised longer. So Nivea Natural Tone it is, then. :-)

The infinitely smooth, pp

Ugly in Puerto Rico

Yes, that's me. I'm back with my tales of woe, but I will at least first start with the positive. I'm here, alive and well and my family and is great and blessed. And we were just in the breathtaking El Conquistador resort in San Juan, people! Talk about unparalleled beauty. Wow. Which brings me to my gripe. They say Brazil is the land of the beautiful people and I thought that was true until, well, I went to Puerto Rico. Where do I start? Everybody is beautiful. I know what you're thinking and I don't blame you cause it sounds implausible, right? Wrong. Every last person in San Juan is gorgeous. Everyone. From the teeny tiny chubby 'widdle ninos', to the lithe, incredibly evenly tanned (not nauseating orange Popsicle 'Sunset Tan' esque tans we are assuaged with in some parts stateside) girls, women, grandmas, boys, men.

Usually this would be a good thing, I mean, why not right? Except that it highlighted everything that yours truly was not. Like waxed, plucked, smooth skinned, taut gutted, stretch mark free, cellulite-who?, lush locked... the list is unending. I mean, I knew I wasn't looking my best, but I'm usually able to clean up pretty well, but JUST NOT IN PUERTO RICO. End of Story - I was out-dressed, out-'bikinied'(manner of speaking only, I wouldn't dare with these battle scars), out manicured, out done. And I concede, because truth be told, it is exhausting with two kids to keep up, even though I was surrounded by tons of gorgeous 'model-mamas', who must have all had their babies at twelve or maybe have great plastic surgeons. Yes, it's the hate talking. :-). Add insult to injury, someone actually asked me if I was expecting. I mean come on, people - I was wearing an empire waist dress, a little bloated maybe, but pregnant? Seriously? I had a 4 month old in a stroller! Okay, I can see why she would think that in the picture, but I don't have to feel good about it, y'know? Oh, and that is a Calista Clothiers Dress. Yes, I had to plug it - and Yellow is the new Black, people! Get Yours Here.

But PR was 'mahvellous dahlings' and I am now serious about my daily runs, breakfast of 'face greek yogurt' or oatmeal or egg white omelettes for the rest of my life or until I lose the weight, which ever comes sooner. There's nothing like being 'peer pressured' into fitness by the beautiful ones. Oh, and I will not skimp on the 'pedis' and facials anymore. It is not a luxury as I now know that I sorely NEED that stuff. I have pores ON MY PORES and that is so not hot. In any language. So I am signing off to go get beautiful. Gaze on my picture and feel better about yourself. p.s of course it's the best of the bunch, I'm not stupid, you know!

Ugly in Puerto Rico, pp

No gym until I'm skinny...

Ridiculous, I know. But after two kids and just 5 weeks in this post partum body, I am dealing with body issues which I never knew I had, and trust me, it ain't pretty. My hubby and I have a gym membership which neither of us have used in a year - at least, I had an excuse - I was pregnant for most of that time and was running about 3 miles a day for awhile too - and the money is being deducted from our account, regardless of whether we haul our butts in there or not. So what better incentive to go, right? I get up bright and early and shower and fish out gym clothes that actually fit - no mean feat, I assure thee. I get to the front door and turn right back around. It's too cold, I'm too late for the class, is my membership still active? All lame excuses. Code for "I'm too fat", plus do I really want to join a strip tease exercise class with lithe skinny 20 something year olds with perfect bodies? Any class would be hard enough, but strip tease class? I mean, even if I were fit and trim and didn't have this jelly belly, I would feel ridiculous. Then there's the issue of my grimy workout clothes. So fast forward to me ordering hip (but not too hip - don't want to appear old and desperate), age appropriate, clothes THAT FIT on the Internet. By the time they get here, I would have shed at least another 5 pounds, right? In shape for getting in shape. Gotta love me. :)

Best Baby Gifts Ever

Second kids, if they are the same sex as the first one usually get a raw deal, you know? I bought almost nothing new for monkeyboy, and as for clothes, fuhgetaboutit. But fortunately, I have great people in my life who love me and he got his fair share of cute, adorable stuff. Love you all. Really. But I am a sucker for books, always have been, always will be. Maybe growing up with an academician as a Dad and teacher for a mother, reading was priority. A treat was going to the bookstore on Saturday and picking out any book of your very own. Then we would all lie in our various beds, devour the books and swap with each other. As we all had pretty diverse tastes, I read the whole gamut, from Nick Carters, to Barbara Cartlands to Enid Blytons at a pretty young age. But Nigerian TV sucked, so holding out for age appropriate material never crossed my mind. But I digress. So I got these gorgeous books, titled 'On the night you were born', and "On the Day you were born' respectively, (among many that this person so generously bequeathed to monkeyboy) that are already favorites of Number one son and I'm sure will be for monkeyboy too, in time.

I have also fallen in love with crabtree and evelyn's super gentle and super adorable baby wash and creams. They work so well for monkeyboys sensitive skin and the packaging is SO cute - it's like reading a bedtime story everyday, just looking at it. He broke out in a rash, I think from Johnson and Johnson's and these seem to be calming the rash and working so well. My dear friend gifted this to us courtesy of she and her business Packaged Panache. She makes the most gorgeous gift packages for ANY occasion you can imagine. Yes, she doth rock. lol.