Focus

We choose what to focus on. In life, in blogging -wait- blogging IS life. :)
But seriously, I could choose to focus on the things that aren't going so well in my life, but like a skilled photographer ( not yet one), I crop a little, shoot at angles, blur, brighten and remove red eye, and violá! Focus chosen. Is it a form of denial? No, but it is a surefire way to remain sane. Have you ever hung around an incessant whiner or pessimist? I have. And I hated every minute. So focus I must. Click, whir, crop- instagrammed happiness. I find it in everything, and anything, if I look hard enough.

So when I somehow ended up with a spontaneous burst blood vessel in my eye on Friday, I refocused and did my hair. The eye was something that would pass in two weeks and over which I had no control. Funny thing is, people noticed my hair and my smile before they noticed my blood shot eye.

Except of course, Principessa.

Principessa: You scary, mama. Your eye red.

Prada Principal: I know, baby.

Principessa: You chubby.

Um... Principessa - one, Prada - zero

I won't let her break me. Focused.

Pp

Heaven

Waking up in Heaven by Crystal McVea ~ a preview.

I met God when I read this book. You know the way most people who have had this experience cannot really put it into words? The joy, the light? Her description was the same, yet different and somehow, I understood exactly what she was trying to say. God jumped right from those pages into my heart, and I felt chills. No fancy writing, no extra righteous testimony- far from it, just raw honesty and truth. I see alot of me in her, minus a few wrong turns and bad choices along the way, but more than that, I recognize the grace of God in both our lives, the guiding hand and presence of God through it all, the wooing, the chasing, the promptings of the Holy spirit, the love and mercy of this great God that neither of us deserves. And if God loved the author that much, then maybe, just maybe he loves us all that much too. If I didn't know this before, I do believe it for a certainty now. He is jealous for me. For us.

I loved this book. Before this book my ultimate goal was to make it to heaven, but sometimes I had secretly wondered if I'd be a tad bit bored there. I can barely take three hour church services anymore- could I really hang with a lifetime of 'church'? But now I get it. God is not just church- God encompasses church, worship, love, fulfillment, joy and all that good stuff. God is not a chore. We have not known pleasure like we will know it when we get there.
I am going to have the best time in heaven and I can hardly wait.

Post Script: this book is unlike any other 'died and went to heaven' tales you have ever read, I promise you. And I have read them ALL. It is so much more than the usual and I can honestly say that it is the most real account I have ever read. It comes out April this year. Get yourself a copy- I urge you.

Check out this video on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KM_0y_86Ek&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Heaven bound, pp

Full Circle

I was gonna save this post for next month, when the anniversary of the 1 year renewal of our vows would occur and then it would be more fitting. More suited to the occasion, more apt.

Then all of a sudden, I couldn't wait. Or more like, didn't want to wait. Maybe I thought of all the other posts I have sat on, waiting for the perfect timing, that never came. Or the perfect words I had that I totally forgot when the 'perfect time' came, and I thought, "Nah, today is good enough for me."

So, nine years ago, my sister read an excerpt from 'The Velveteen Rabbit' at my ceremony. I love that book, and the excerpt about what it means to be loved and how it feels to be loved. I've always loved the book, even as a child, when my understanding of it was superficial at best. It touched my core.

Now, to see my seven year old reading it, and getting it, albeit on his level? It touches my core. Yes it does. One day he'll get it on the level I get it NOW.

But for today? Well, today is good enough. :)

Be well, pp