How not to bake a Pumpkin Pie

Whatever you do, do NOT go to the pumpkin patch, because if you do, you'll be tempted ( or should I say cajoled) into picking up a teeny pumpkin. Or three.

If you pick up a pumpkin, rest assured that one of two things will happen- pleas for a pumpkin pie or pleas to carve the pumpkin. I say, if one must choose- carve the pumpkin. Why? Cause it'll be over in 30 minutes. And you won't need to pop over to the store like three times that day, looking for obscure spices like 'mace'. Yes, seriously, mace apparently is a spice. Who knew?

If suckered into baking a pie, make sure you do not actually use said pumpkin to bake the pie! That's what canned pumpkin filling is for. And do not attempt to make the crust yourself. See previous sentence and substitute 'pillsbury dough' for 'canned pumpkin filling'.

Expect to hear, "when is MY pie going to be ready?" a gazillion times. Times three. And pacing infront of the oven, peering through the glass door of the oven, as well as all other dramatic indications that the kids are just dying for some pie.

When the pie is done, expect fanfare. jubilations and confetti.

Do not get your hopes up. They will NOT finish pie. To be clear, they may bot even finish their own slice of pie (cough, cough Monkey boy) and may start mashing it around and saying stuff like "I wanna invent a pumpkin pie burger!", or "Do we have any whipped cream?" or simply in the words of the Principessa, when pressed to eat more, "No Sanks!". To be fair, she did eat all hers and half of her brother's. But that's her duty as the third child. It's called 'taking one for the team.' :)

There's a moral to this story. Aside from 'never bake a pie.' I'll add, "never eat your pie before you've baked it." It might not live up to your expectations. Or just decide to enjoy said pie no matter what. Yeah, that works.

Or... just carve a jack-o-lantern already. :)

Or roast pumpkin seeds.

Fallin' out, pp